I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
