I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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