He kissed a someone with a penis
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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