is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I love you. Go after that dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
