Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
