Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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