Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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