Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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