3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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