You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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