Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
A+ Viking dick
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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