haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
