Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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