I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
