PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
