Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
