Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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