Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
