I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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