Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
