Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
