Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
