you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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