Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
