But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
