my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
