You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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