My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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