Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
