thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
