why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
