I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
