It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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