Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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