You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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