i wish starbucks made bloody marys
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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