I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
