Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
