I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
