i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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