Where are you?
In a non slutty way
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
