i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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