You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize