you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
