I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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