For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
