If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize