U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
