I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize