why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
