woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
