i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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