I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
