Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize