dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
