using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
