So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
