Me. At least after what I've been through.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
