Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
