We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
