oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
