he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize