how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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