im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I did not marry a roomba.
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