its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
