Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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